How To Influence People
How to Influence People
The ability to influence people is a vital skill in the real world. It allows you to help people to do better or encourages them to see things from your point of view. This article will help you to master the fine art of influencing people.
Building relationships
1
Be outgoing. Having a friendly, outgoing personality goes a long way when it comes to having an influence on the people around you. People respond to people who are comfortable in their own skin, and are more inclined to follow their lead. But don't treat them like they are lower than you. Treat everyone like a friend, not like a younger sibling. People don't like when you are full of yourself.
- Smile. People are drawn to a friendly smile. It makes you seem approachable and trustworthy.
- Ask questions. Engage other people in conversations. Show an interest in them and they will become more open and responsive. Another way to start a conversation is simply asking for a pencil or helping them with something they seem to be struggling with.
- Plan activities. Take the initiative and organize a group trip, for example, hiking or to a concert. This will help you make them friends and show them that you like them and include them.
2
Demonstrate interest in others. In order to make a good impression, you need to show an active interest in the person you're talking to. Listen to what they are saying. A good listener learns a lot about people.
- Ask stimulating questions about the other person's interests and opinions.
- Respond to their questions with a sense of the topic. For example, if it is an upsetting conversation about sickness, don't tell a joke. Responding correctly will generate a sense of trust and create a bond between you.
3
Address people by name. People are more likely to respond when they hear their name, as the use of their name makes your message more personal to them.
- By remembering to use someone's name, you will seem like an interesting person who pays close attention to details. It is the same as remembering their birthday, so take notice in what they have to say about themselves.
4
Be an active participant in discussions. Building a relationship with someone is a two way street. It's about response and trust. You shouldn't use a conversation as a vehicle for forcing your ideas and opinions on others, without letting anybody else get a word in edgewise. Equally, you shouldn't check out of a conversation either, nobody wants to feel like they're talking to themselves.
Establishing a good reputation
1
Admit your mistakes first and foremost. If you are wrong, be sure to admit it quickly and emphatically. The quick way to generate animosity is by failure to admit your mistakes when you are obviously at fault. So if you want to build credibility and respect, be sure that you are quick to admit your errors as soon as you realize them. People will admire your honesty and honesty inspires trust.
2
Point out mistakes in a helpful, indirect way. If it is necessary to point out someone else's mistakes, make sure to do it in a constructive, positive way. The last thing you want to do is make another person feel small or stupid. If you are humble and matter-of-fact with your correction, you will find that your comments are more likely to be heard and taken to heart
- If you are helping a person to avoid further embarrassment, try saying something like "Hey, Tony. I noticed you were using your dinner fork for your salad. It doesn't matter that much, but you might start on the outside and work your way in. If you want, you can watch what I do." Helping someone avoid further embarrassment is honorable.
- If you are helping someone by reviewing a paper or report they wrote, try starting out with a compliment before pointing out some places they can improve: "Hey Sally, great job on the paper! It was really interesting, but I've highlighted some information I think you should double check, I'm not sure if it's 100% accurate."
- Avoid correcting people in a curt, condescending, blunt, rude, abrasive, or exasperated manner.
- Never correct someone in front of another person. Keep it between the two of you.
3
Establish your expertise. If you have extensive knowledge on a given topic, it is worthwhile making this fact known, especially if that knowledge could potentially be used to help someone else. Don't brag about your knowledge or talk about it endlessly. This will make you seem like a know-it-all and will discourage people from asking you about for help. Make your expertise known and let people know you are happy to help, if needed.
- If you let it be known that you are a financial whiz, your friends can come to you for monetary guidance or advice. They might feel more comfortable coming to someone they know and trust.
- If you are a fluent second language speaker, let people know that you would be happy to tutor them before an upcoming exam or vacation.
Actively guide others' actions
1
Take a friendly approach. Always begin in a friendly manner if you are trying to influence others to your way of thinking. Avoid being bossy or demanding. Start by asking questions that they will quickly say yes to, in order to get cooperation.
- Try something like "Hey, I'm running out to the store to get some groceries. I'd love some company, would you please come with me?"
- Or something like "Gosh, I'm tired. Wouldn't it be nice to stay in and watch a movie tonight?"
2
Sympathize with opposing beliefs. Try to understand where the other person is coming from. Ask yourself, what motivates them to do certain things? Again, it's about reciprocity; if you respect others' beliefs, they will appreciate you and your beliefs as well. By sympathizing with beliefs that you disagree with, you can help establish an air of open-mindedness which will help increase your influence.
3
Plead a noble case. People are more likely to change their behaviors, if the change will benefit society as a whole, rather than just you.
This is a few guidelines on how to influence people. I hope this steps will help you in your pursue to influence people.
- Smile. People are drawn to a friendly smile. It makes you seem approachable and trustworthy.
- Ask questions. Engage other people in conversations. Show an interest in them and they will become more open and responsive. Another way to start a conversation is simply asking for a pencil or helping them with something they seem to be struggling with.
- Plan activities. Take the initiative and organize a group trip, for example, hiking or to a concert. This will help you make them friends and show them that you like them and include them.
2
Demonstrate interest in others. In order to make a good impression, you need to show an active interest in the person you're talking to. Listen to what they are saying. A good listener learns a lot about people.
- Ask stimulating questions about the other person's interests and opinions.
- Respond to their questions with a sense of the topic. For example, if it is an upsetting conversation about sickness, don't tell a joke. Responding correctly will generate a sense of trust and create a bond between you.
- By remembering to use someone's name, you will seem like an interesting person who pays close attention to details. It is the same as remembering their birthday, so take notice in what they have to say about themselves.
4
Be an active participant in discussions. Building a relationship with someone is a two way street. It's about response and trust. You shouldn't use a conversation as a vehicle for forcing your ideas and opinions on others, without letting anybody else get a word in edgewise. Equally, you shouldn't check out of a conversation either, nobody wants to feel like they're talking to themselves.
Establishing a good reputation
1
Admit your mistakes first and foremost. If you are wrong, be sure to admit it quickly and emphatically. The quick way to generate animosity is by failure to admit your mistakes when you are obviously at fault. So if you want to build credibility and respect, be sure that you are quick to admit your errors as soon as you realize them. People will admire your honesty and honesty inspires trust.
2
Point out mistakes in a helpful, indirect way. If it is necessary to point out someone else's mistakes, make sure to do it in a constructive, positive way. The last thing you want to do is make another person feel small or stupid. If you are humble and matter-of-fact with your correction, you will find that your comments are more likely to be heard and taken to heart
- If you are helping a person to avoid further embarrassment, try saying something like "Hey, Tony. I noticed you were using your dinner fork for your salad. It doesn't matter that much, but you might start on the outside and work your way in. If you want, you can watch what I do." Helping someone avoid further embarrassment is honorable.
- If you are helping someone by reviewing a paper or report they wrote, try starting out with a compliment before pointing out some places they can improve: "Hey Sally, great job on the paper! It was really interesting, but I've highlighted some information I think you should double check, I'm not sure if it's 100% accurate."
- Avoid correcting people in a curt, condescending, blunt, rude, abrasive, or exasperated manner.
- Never correct someone in front of another person. Keep it between the two of you.
3
Establish your expertise. If you have extensive knowledge on a given topic, it is worthwhile making this fact known, especially if that knowledge could potentially be used to help someone else. Don't brag about your knowledge or talk about it endlessly. This will make you seem like a know-it-all and will discourage people from asking you about for help. Make your expertise known and let people know you are happy to help, if needed.
- If you let it be known that you are a financial whiz, your friends can come to you for monetary guidance or advice. They might feel more comfortable coming to someone they know and trust.
- If you are a fluent second language speaker, let people know that you would be happy to tutor them before an upcoming exam or vacation.
Actively guide others' actions
1
Take a friendly approach. Always begin in a friendly manner if you are trying to influence others to your way of thinking. Avoid being bossy or demanding. Start by asking questions that they will quickly say yes to, in order to get cooperation.
- Try something like "Hey, I'm running out to the store to get some groceries. I'd love some company, would you please come with me?"
- Or something like "Gosh, I'm tired. Wouldn't it be nice to stay in and watch a movie tonight?"
2
Sympathize with opposing beliefs. Try to understand where the other person is coming from. Ask yourself, what motivates them to do certain things? Again, it's about reciprocity; if you respect others' beliefs, they will appreciate you and your beliefs as well. By sympathizing with beliefs that you disagree with, you can help establish an air of open-mindedness which will help increase your influence.
3
Plead a noble case. People are more likely to change their behaviors, if the change will benefit society as a whole, rather than just you.
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